Ahh confession, it is hard, especially when you have to confess your insecurities to your husband, and admit that, "Yes, I do sometimes get angry with you." Okay, I know that is ridiculous, but my husband and I rarely get angry with each other. Frustrated, yes, but out right anger does not happen often. So, I read a great blog called at www.chattykelly.com and yesterday she was talking about finding her worth in God, rather than the things she does. This is where I fail on an almost daily basis. When my husband helps me out around the house, all I hear (in my head), is how I have failed horribly as a wife and mother. I am so bad at it, that my husband has to help me out around the house. Again, ridiculous right? But, there it is, and I wonder if this is a common thought in stay at home mom's and wives. So, to protect myself, I forbid him from helping me, and get downright upset with him when he does.
The problem with this is that my husband loves me, and him helping me is just one way he shows me his love. He wants to be a blessing to me, and minister to me by helping me out, and I refuse that. God really convicted me about this yesterday, and I needed to deal with it.
This ties in what I talked about getting angry at my husband (Jake) because he is not a mind reader. If I do not ask him for help, then he has no clue that I need it! So again, I am angry at him for something that is out of his control. Of course I do not want to ask for help because him helping me feeds into my insecurities about whether I am a good wife and mother. Oh, pride...
So, Jake came home yesterday and I sat down and confessed all to him, and asked him to forgive me. Of course he did, and he reassured me that he has never felt or thought that I was a miserable excuse for a wife and mommy. I believe him when he says that, but still...that little evil voice in my head continues to tell me that he must be blind, and sooner or later he'll see the truth.
This is why it is important to allow God to show you who you are in Him, to find your identity in Him. He loves us each so much, Psalm 139 shows just how much He pays attention to us, and loves us.
The problem with this is that my husband loves me, and him helping me is just one way he shows me his love. He wants to be a blessing to me, and minister to me by helping me out, and I refuse that. God really convicted me about this yesterday, and I needed to deal with it.
This ties in what I talked about getting angry at my husband (Jake) because he is not a mind reader. If I do not ask him for help, then he has no clue that I need it! So again, I am angry at him for something that is out of his control. Of course I do not want to ask for help because him helping me feeds into my insecurities about whether I am a good wife and mother. Oh, pride...
So, Jake came home yesterday and I sat down and confessed all to him, and asked him to forgive me. Of course he did, and he reassured me that he has never felt or thought that I was a miserable excuse for a wife and mommy. I believe him when he says that, but still...that little evil voice in my head continues to tell me that he must be blind, and sooner or later he'll see the truth.
This is why it is important to allow God to show you who you are in Him, to find your identity in Him. He loves us each so much, Psalm 139 shows just how much He pays attention to us, and loves us.
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