I was in a conversation with my neighbor the other day. She has two great, but very different little girls. One is the typical older child, she listens and obeys. She is girly, and responsible. The younger one is the typical second/younger child. They call her their "wild child". She is a tomboy, she plays hard, and loves hard (for a 7 year old), and she also has a stubborn streak that might stump even the strongest disciplinarian. She has a comeback for everything. They are both "bossy".
When I think of women that I have worked with, not all of them, but the adjectives that stick out the most are:
mean, manipulative, selfish, gossips. Not positive, huh? Sadly, I have found myself repeating this to impressionable young girls, and I am pretty disappointed in myself over that.
This got me to thinking about the labels we often use for girls: Bossy, stuck up, snobby, nagging, stubborn. The list goes on. I am trying to think of some nice labels for girls...Sweet? Eager to please...that's it. I cannot think of another positive way girls are described in general. Wow..so, the world says our daughters are good when they are mild mannered and eager to please. However, it is negative to be assertive and confident? Even in the Bible, the first thing I think of when it comes to women is where Solomon says in Proverbs 27:15 that a nagging wife is like a leaky roof. I don't think of all the stories of women who were mightily used by God.
Don't get me wrong, there are positives and negatives to both sides. As I am raising my daughter, I hope to instill a sense of balance in her. I want her to be assertive. I want her to be confident in what she does. I also want her to be obedient, and compassionate. I want her to love fiercely, to be a champion to the underdog, to see the potential in those around her. I want to help her hone those skills into strong leadership skills.
Our jobs as parents is to train our children to be adults, to be productive members of society.
I pray continually that I will not break my daughter's spirit, and I think that one way those things happen is by trying to tamp down those traits that will be useful later in life.
You have a daughter (or even a son) that tells stories all the time? By all means, teach them that lying is a wrong, but do not stifle their imaginations!
Discipline is vital to training up our children, but in that discipline are we stifling natural talents? I believe there is a way to encourage those things, and train our children how to use those talents in positive ways, without stifling or breaking their spirits.
Meanwhile, I am going to remind you of what a little girl's nanny in "The Help" told her every time her mother or father belittled her and broke her a little more: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important".
It is vital to the well-being of our children (and our marriages) that we uplift and encourage them, even in training and discipline.
When I think of women that I have worked with, not all of them, but the adjectives that stick out the most are:
mean, manipulative, selfish, gossips. Not positive, huh? Sadly, I have found myself repeating this to impressionable young girls, and I am pretty disappointed in myself over that.
This got me to thinking about the labels we often use for girls: Bossy, stuck up, snobby, nagging, stubborn. The list goes on. I am trying to think of some nice labels for girls...Sweet? Eager to please...that's it. I cannot think of another positive way girls are described in general. Wow..so, the world says our daughters are good when they are mild mannered and eager to please. However, it is negative to be assertive and confident? Even in the Bible, the first thing I think of when it comes to women is where Solomon says in Proverbs 27:15 that a nagging wife is like a leaky roof. I don't think of all the stories of women who were mightily used by God.
Don't get me wrong, there are positives and negatives to both sides. As I am raising my daughter, I hope to instill a sense of balance in her. I want her to be assertive. I want her to be confident in what she does. I also want her to be obedient, and compassionate. I want her to love fiercely, to be a champion to the underdog, to see the potential in those around her. I want to help her hone those skills into strong leadership skills.
Our jobs as parents is to train our children to be adults, to be productive members of society.
I pray continually that I will not break my daughter's spirit, and I think that one way those things happen is by trying to tamp down those traits that will be useful later in life.
You have a daughter (or even a son) that tells stories all the time? By all means, teach them that lying is a wrong, but do not stifle their imaginations!
Discipline is vital to training up our children, but in that discipline are we stifling natural talents? I believe there is a way to encourage those things, and train our children how to use those talents in positive ways, without stifling or breaking their spirits.
Meanwhile, I am going to remind you of what a little girl's nanny in "The Help" told her every time her mother or father belittled her and broke her a little more: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important".
It is vital to the well-being of our children (and our marriages) that we uplift and encourage them, even in training and discipline.
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