Treading Water....Barely

We have all been there. We give and we give. We do our best. We try and try to be everything and do everything we need to do to ensure everyone is happy...and we fail.

Repeatedly.

And we are left feeling worthless.
Valueless.
Stripped bare.
At a point so low, we did not know it existed...well, it feels that way anyway. Though I know it could get worse.
But in that moment, that was how I felt.
I was utterly spent.
I think that we often get so busy with "life" that we forget the giver of Life.
Once again, I found myself on my knee's over a pile of clean laundry, crying out to Papa. Begging Him to do something, because I was done.

I had nothing left to give. 

Oddly, I have been praying that He would draw me closer. I long to draw ever closer to Him.
I need Him.

Maybe it is not so odd, because this is what it took for me to get off my lazy butt and turn to Him.

Obviously, I needed to be at this point to stop thinking, and start DOING.

When we start doing things in our own strength, we burn out quickly.
We blame others for the things going wrong and begin to ask God to change THEM.
The Marriage page on facebook posted a status the other day that says:

In marriage, it's not your job to fix each other or to change each other; just love each other. Love is what changes us.

I remembered that these past few days. Our first instinct is to say, "God, they are so wrong, please change them."

But, that is wrong. I began to examen how I reacted to things. I began to look at myself, and see where I could become a better person. What God was maybe dealing with ME about. 
Too often in marriage we see each other's faults, without examining ourselves. We do this in life more often than not as well. 

I digress as this post is about being stripped and humbled. We cannot...I cannot do anything in my own strength. I am a busy stay at home mom, going to graduate school, and trying to run a house efficiently. I love my husband, I want to be a blessing to him. 
BUT once again, I am doing these things out of my own strength. Rather than turning to Papa for strength, guidance, and patience in the every day things; I am allowing frustration and anger to take root.  
In Him we have joy and peace...
I need Him.   

Bossy? Or the Beginnings of Good Leadership?

I was in a conversation with my neighbor the other day. She has two great, but very different little girls. One is the typical older child, she listens and obeys. She is girly, and responsible. The younger one is the typical second/younger child. They call her their "wild child". She is a tomboy, she plays hard, and loves hard (for a 7 year old), and she also has a stubborn streak that might stump even the strongest disciplinarian. She has a comeback for everything. They are both "bossy".

When I think of women that I have worked with, not all of them, but the adjectives that stick out the most are:
mean, manipulative, selfish, gossips. Not positive, huh? Sadly, I have found myself repeating this to impressionable young girls, and I am pretty disappointed in myself over that. 

This got me to thinking about the labels we often use for girls: Bossy, stuck up, snobby, nagging, stubborn. The list goes on. I am trying to think of some nice labels for girls...Sweet? Eager to please...that's it. I cannot think of another positive way girls are described in general. Wow..so, the world says our daughters are good when they are mild mannered and eager to please. However, it is negative to be assertive and confident? Even in the Bible, the first thing I think of when it comes to women is where Solomon says in Proverbs 27:15 that a nagging wife is like a leaky roof. I don't think of all the stories of women who were mightily used by God.

Don't get me wrong, there are positives and negatives to both sides. As I am raising my daughter, I hope to instill a sense of balance in her. I want her to be assertive. I want her to be confident in what she does. I also want her to be obedient, and compassionate. I want her to love fiercely, to be a champion to the underdog, to see the potential in those around her. I want to help her hone those skills into strong leadership skills.

Our jobs as parents is to train our children to be adults, to be productive members of society.
I pray continually that I will not break my daughter's spirit, and I think that one way those things happen is by trying to tamp down those traits that will be useful later in life.
You have a daughter (or even a son) that tells stories all the time? By all means, teach them that lying is a wrong, but do not stifle their imaginations!
Discipline is vital to training up our children, but in that discipline are we stifling natural talents? I believe there is a way to encourage those things, and train our children how to use those talents in positive ways, without stifling or breaking their spirits.

Meanwhile, I am going to remind you of what a little girl's nanny in "The Help" told her every time her mother or father belittled her and broke her a little more: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important".

It is vital to the well-being of our children (and our marriages) that we uplift and encourage them, even in training and discipline.