A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend about another mutual friend. She was worried about this friend because of a few different reasons, and had discussed her worries with other friends.
Let's just call this what it is: Gossip. (I had this exact conversation with this friend, FYI)
Yep! I think of it as the Christian version of gossip: Talking about another person "out of concern".
Now, I know that these people truly are concerned about this other person. However, their concerns are based on conjecture, not truth. Ya know the whole, "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck" thing.
However much it looks like this person is living in sin, no one knows that they are for a fact. They are judging this person unfairly, and they have not straight out asked them what is going on.
My response to this friend was not one I would have made a year ago. I confronted her about gossiping, but I also encouraged her to love on this friend, and if God told her to say something, only then should she do it. Because, let's face it. If this friend IS living in sin, they know they are, and no amount of berating from other friends will change their lifestyle. This whole thing is between them and God. I told my friend it was none of her business until this other friend made it her business.
(OH.MY.GOSH! I hope this makes sense, and I am not confusing anyone!)
We are not called to judge, we are called to love.
I truly believe this.
Sometimes it seems as if there is a theme running through my life for a month or so. This month that theme is "judgement".
I will be the first to admit that this is something that I struggle with. Not with non Christians, but with Christians. I tend to hold other Christians to a high standard, and when they do not meet my standards, I judge them. This is something I have come to recognize, and immediately try to rectify if possible. This might mean talking to the person, or simply repenting and moving on.
Our walks with the Lord are all different, we are all at different places, and God deals with specific sins at different points of our lives. This is something I need to remember.
The Bible specifically talks about this:
Matthew 7:1-5, 1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
OH! But it is so SO easy to fall into this trap! I did just the other day at a meeting. I actually lost sleep over my judgmental attitude, and I have been wondering if it was obvious enough that I need to apologize to this person.
Judging others does not do ANY good, it makes the other person feel like crap, and makes you look like a jerk.
The fact of the matter is a lot of times we judge people based on the way they react in situations. If you have not been in that situation, how do you know how you would react?
You don't! You probably would have done the exact same thing to escape an uncomfortable situation!
We also judge people because they are doing something we do not agree with. Whether this person lives an alternative lifestyle, or smokes, or sleeps around, etc.
The thing is that it is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! God did not call us to berate people or judge people into changing. ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE SOMEONE!
I am going to be starting my master's degree in clinical mental health counseling in August. I will have to do practicums and I have been confronted with whether or not I will counsel those who live alternative lifestyles (ie, gay, lesbian, transgender, etc). Guess what? I will! Wanna know why?
Because their lifestyle is NONE OF MY BUSINESS! Whether I agree with it or not, it DOES NOT MATTER! That is between them and God and that's it!
God has called me to love. Period.
Let's just call this what it is: Gossip. (I had this exact conversation with this friend, FYI)
Yep! I think of it as the Christian version of gossip: Talking about another person "out of concern".
Now, I know that these people truly are concerned about this other person. However, their concerns are based on conjecture, not truth. Ya know the whole, "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck" thing.
However much it looks like this person is living in sin, no one knows that they are for a fact. They are judging this person unfairly, and they have not straight out asked them what is going on.
My response to this friend was not one I would have made a year ago. I confronted her about gossiping, but I also encouraged her to love on this friend, and if God told her to say something, only then should she do it. Because, let's face it. If this friend IS living in sin, they know they are, and no amount of berating from other friends will change their lifestyle. This whole thing is between them and God. I told my friend it was none of her business until this other friend made it her business.
(OH.MY.GOSH! I hope this makes sense, and I am not confusing anyone!)
We are not called to judge, we are called to love.
I truly believe this.
Sometimes it seems as if there is a theme running through my life for a month or so. This month that theme is "judgement".
I will be the first to admit that this is something that I struggle with. Not with non Christians, but with Christians. I tend to hold other Christians to a high standard, and when they do not meet my standards, I judge them. This is something I have come to recognize, and immediately try to rectify if possible. This might mean talking to the person, or simply repenting and moving on.
Our walks with the Lord are all different, we are all at different places, and God deals with specific sins at different points of our lives. This is something I need to remember.
The Bible specifically talks about this:
Matthew 7:1-5, 1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
OH! But it is so SO easy to fall into this trap! I did just the other day at a meeting. I actually lost sleep over my judgmental attitude, and I have been wondering if it was obvious enough that I need to apologize to this person.
Judging others does not do ANY good, it makes the other person feel like crap, and makes you look like a jerk.
The fact of the matter is a lot of times we judge people based on the way they react in situations. If you have not been in that situation, how do you know how you would react?
You don't! You probably would have done the exact same thing to escape an uncomfortable situation!
We also judge people because they are doing something we do not agree with. Whether this person lives an alternative lifestyle, or smokes, or sleeps around, etc.
The thing is that it is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! God did not call us to berate people or judge people into changing. ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE SOMEONE!
I am going to be starting my master's degree in clinical mental health counseling in August. I will have to do practicums and I have been confronted with whether or not I will counsel those who live alternative lifestyles (ie, gay, lesbian, transgender, etc). Guess what? I will! Wanna know why?
Because their lifestyle is NONE OF MY BUSINESS! Whether I agree with it or not, it DOES NOT MATTER! That is between them and God and that's it!
God has called me to love. Period.
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