He Supplies My Needs...and Often My Wants as Well

I have been frantically looking for a babysitter for two weeks now. I have a GREAT regular babysitter, and a great backup. However, they are not always available, and Jake and I recently had to cancel a foodie tour in Denver because we could not find anyone.

TOTALLY MY FAULT! Seriously, I need to learn to plan better!

So, I joined care.com without realizing that if I wanted to actually get the contact info for these sitters I had to pay $35 a month!!! WHAT!!?!?!?!?!

So I had resorted to Craigslist.

Yeah, I know.

When I think about hiring someone from Craigslist all I can think about is that 30 Rock episode where Liz was medicated after a surgery, and Jack was trying to keep her from calling people on Craigslist about getting a massage. The next morning she is on the phone with Jack when she gets a knock on the door. She yells out, "I already killed her!" in a gruff voice, and the man makes a disappointed noise and leaves.

Paranoid much!?!?!?

Actually, my friend Sara hooked me up with a lady and I was going to have her watch Emma. BUT I had never met this lady! I trust Sara IMPLICITLY! She has 2 of the most beautiful daughters, and this lady took care of them for her. Anyway, I ended up canceling on her because Jake and I did not feel good about leaving Emma with a stranger.

After this incident is when I started searching for a babysitter.  Jake and I are starting Tae Kwondo (?) or some sort of martial arts in a couple weeks together (and I am SO going to kick his butt!), and I need a regular babysitter.

I just got a call from Michelle and she has an opening for whenever for me. I am meeting her on Monday to get to know her a bit. She is so sweet and nice on the phone, PLUS she has kids so Emma can get over her fear of other kids. Although, I think she is growing out of that phase.

ANYWAY, I know I ramble. Sorry! So, I should have prayed that God would help me out in my search. He cares about Emma too! More so than me, although I cannot EVEN imagine that kind of love because I could burst with how much I love my little Emma-nem!

Again, I digress! God provided for me even without my needing to ask Him. He always does this! He takes care of me more than I can imagine. Jake used to call me spoiled, until it started happening to him. Now we are just in awe of how much the Lord loves us, and blesses us. We truly are.

There have been many times when I just really wanted something and God provided it. I never asked, God just knows, because He WANTS to know! WOW! Talk about Psalm 139 coming to life!

Here are some other great verses about how He takes care of us:


Matthew 6:31-32
Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
Matthew 7:11
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!


Ahhhhh! We serve such an amazing God!

We are Not Called to Judge We are Called to Love

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend about another mutual friend. She was worried about this friend because of a few different reasons, and had discussed her worries with other friends.

Let's just call this what it is: Gossip. (I had this exact conversation with this friend, FYI)

Yep! I think of it as the Christian version of gossip: Talking about another person "out of concern".

Now, I know that these people truly are concerned about this other person. However, their concerns are based on conjecture, not truth. Ya know the whole, "If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck" thing.

However much it looks like this person is living in sin, no one knows that they are for a fact. They are judging this person unfairly, and they have not straight out asked them what is going on.

My response to this friend was not one I would have made a year ago. I confronted her about gossiping, but I also encouraged her to love on this friend, and if God told her to say something, only then should she do it.  Because, let's face it. If this friend IS living in sin, they know they are, and no amount of berating from other friends will change their lifestyle. This whole thing is between them and God. I told my friend it was none of her business until this other friend made it her business.

(OH.MY.GOSH! I hope this makes sense, and I am not confusing anyone!)

We are not called to judge, we are called to love. 

I truly believe this. 

Sometimes it seems as if there is a theme running through my life for a month or so. This month that theme is "judgement".

I will be the first to admit that this is something that I struggle with. Not with non Christians, but with Christians. I tend to hold other Christians to a high standard, and when they do not meet my standards, I judge them. This is something I have come to recognize, and immediately try to rectify if possible. This might mean talking to the person, or simply repenting and moving on.

Our walks with the Lord are all different, we are all at different places, and God deals with specific sins at different points of our lives. This is something I need to remember.

The Bible specifically talks about this:

Matthew 7:1-5,  ¹ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
   ³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

OH! But it is so SO easy to fall into this trap! I did just the other day at a meeting. I actually lost sleep over my judgmental attitude, and I have been wondering if it was obvious enough that I need to apologize to this person.


Judging others does not do ANY good, it makes the other person feel like crap, and makes you look like a jerk.


The fact of the matter is a lot of times we judge people based on the way they react in situations. If you have not been in that situation, how do you know how you would react? 


You don't! You probably would have done the exact same thing to escape an uncomfortable situation! 
We also judge people because they are doing something we do not agree with. Whether this person lives an alternative lifestyle, or smokes, or sleeps around, etc.


The thing is that it is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! God did not call us to berate people or judge people into changing. ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE SOMEONE! 


I am going to be starting my master's degree in clinical mental health counseling in August. I will have to do practicums and I have been confronted with whether or not I will counsel those who live alternative lifestyles (ie, gay, lesbian, transgender, etc). Guess what? I will! Wanna know why?


Because their lifestyle is NONE OF MY BUSINESS! Whether I agree with it or not, it DOES NOT MATTER! That is between them and God and that's it! 

God has called me to love. Period.



 

Security in Christ

Two nights ago my husband and I were watching television when we heard the weirdest cry.
"Is that Emma?" I asked him. We stayed silent for a moment, and sure enough it was. Jake got up quickly and went to check on her. A minute (or less probably) after he got to her, she was still crying and crying. I knew something had to be wrong.
I rushed upstairs and sure enough, she had gotten her foot stuck in between the slats, and daddy could not calm her down. When I got up there, she came to me and slowly began to calm down, and we were able to put her back to bed.

Fast forward to last night: She wakes up screaming, and is absolutely inconsolable. Usually, I can calm her down pretty quick, but it was not happening this time. Jake came up to check on us since she was still crying, and the minute he touched her and began to talk to her she calmed down.

Both times she needed the security of both of us in order to calm down and be okay. Usually she just needs one of us (more specifically, she prefers me for that stuff).

Isn't it interesting that she automatically needs that sense of security? All children need a sense of security, and yelling and screaming at them does not give them it. Giving them all the toys they want, or letting them do whatever they want does not give them that sense of security as well.

Love and boundaries give children a sense of security. I mean, I am like that. I am much more secure in what I am doing when I know exactly what my role is. I prefer structure and clarity in everything that I do. 

Psalm 139: 5, "You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me".

If you know me, or have read this blog you know that Psalm 139 is my absolute, most favorite chapter in the Bible. It talks all about how the Lord loves us and knows us. Well, specifically about how well He knows us, and I figure if He knows us THAT well, He must really REALLY love us!

Anyway, so God gives us boundaries. He disciplines us, much like we discipline our children. Out of LOVE.

Side Note: Discipline, no matter if it is spanking, putting a child in time-out, etc should NEVER be done out of anything but LOVE. If you are frustrated or angry with your child, you need to get over it before you discipline your kid. Otherwise it does no good, and maybe even harms them emotionally (says the psychology major LOL). Seriously though, kids and us need love.

He gives us boundaries, and He loves us so very much. Sometimes I look up at the beautiful night sky and I am in awe of the Lord. He made ALL this! Everything we see, He has made it! And us! He has created each and everyone of us. It seems too much to believe that He is not too busy to pay us any attention.

BUT HE DOES! Just read that whole chapter and tell me He doesn't!

The security we need in this chaotic world is found in Him. Not in anyone or anything else, just Him.

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10, " Be still and know that I am God".

How amazing it is to know that we can find our rest in Him! When life is sucky, things are falling apart, people are being mean, etc. We can REST in knowing that He is in control.

The Tongue is a Powerful Weapon

Oh how easy it is to say something mean to or about others.

 It could be a joke about someone's shortcomings. It  can be an angry retort to your spouse. It can be an irritated response to your child. No matter who is on the receiving end of these words, it will be hurtful.

I know spouses who constantly cuss at each other. I know wives who constantly nag their husbands (and vice-versa!). I know parents who frequently scream at their children.

All of these things indicate to the person on the receiving end, that they are not worthy.

They are not worthy of your respect, or love.

If you have been on the receiving end of this, you know how hurtful it is. You know how it degrades your self-esteem, and confidence in yourself.

I have been on both ends of this. I have had my share of lashing out at the people I love, and the people I do not even know. I have had my share of people saying hurtful things to me, or about me.

It hurts.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says to encourage each other and build each other up. 

That nagging remark you made to your spouse the other day? That tore them down a bit.

That joke about the overweight lady you made? That eroded her self-confidence.

The way you screamed and yelled at your child? That broke their spirit just a little bit, and took away a sense of security from them.

None of these things builds anyone up. Every word is like termites in a wood house. Slowly the wood is eaten until the structure is unstable, and completely falls apart.


In contrast, your words have the ability to change lives positively as well. My husband and I try to ensure we are always positive with each other. We always let each other know we appreciate their efforts. Our goal is to never make each other feel taken  for granted.

My brother commented on it once. He said, "Why do you always thank each other? He is your husband, he is supposed to do those things."
I thank him because I love him, and appreciate all he does for me. He does the same thing. Appreciation for each other is one way we  build each other up.
There have been times where we have failed in building each other up, but we are quick to forgive and encourage each other.

There have been times when Emma has driven me nuts, and I have tried pushing her away. However, I always try to catch myself, and make a point to stop what I am doing and give her the love and attention she needs. Because pushing her away only tears her down. 

The tongue is a POWERFUL weapon that can be used for good and bad. What will you use it for?

Do You Have an Infestation?

I looked down and saw a black blob that looked like it was moving.

I looked closer....

OH NO! ANTS! *gag*

Okay, I have been places in the world where it was normal to take your shower with giant cockroaches and gross spiders. We actually had each other look out for the spiders while were showering.

Yeah, no modesty when spiders are involved.

I digress...my daughter is like any other toddler and is messy and sticky. She eats part of something and thinks that it is perfectly normal tojust drop what she does not want on the floor. I am working on this with her, but it still happens.

Before you think that my floors are just covered in food, think again. I clean all the time (at least it feels like it). You could EAT off my floor, apparently the ants think so at least.

GRRRR! 

Sure enough I had missed some obscure piece of food that Emma had so casually dropped, and in came the ants. I think we are going to need to spray by the sliding door to get rid of them. Poor guys.

This got me thinking though, about how easy it is for the little things to sneak into our lives. For instance, I say "God" all the time, and not in the proper context. This, I believe is a sin. How on earth did I start saying this SO much!?!?! I mean, I literally use the Lord's name this way 30 times a day. Or at least I did until I realized what I was doing. This number has dropped considerably, but it still happens, and I am still repenting and trying to be even more conscientious about what I am saying. This is the same with swearing. Yes, I admit to swearing, though I have improved considerably and rarely do it anymore. When my husband was in the military we were constantly surrounded by people who swore all the time. That is how it started. When you hear something over and over, I do not know if it just makes it seem like swearing is more acceptable or what. I just know that I started.

The Bible even speaks of swearing: ( Ephesians 4:29 tells us, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.")
There are others, however I feel that using the others such as James 3:9-12 opens up discussion that would be better left to its own post (perhaps tomorrow!)

Even if the Bible did not address swearing, I still think it is vulgar and ugly, and do not want my daughter repeating me.

So, these little infestations that start out innocently and take over. It happens all the time. Watching television a little each day can get out of control to where it is on ALL the time (Yep! I am guilty of this as well!), leaving no time to focus on the Lord, or other important things such as family time.

Satan wants to destroy us, he wants to destroy our relationship with the Lord, and if he cannot outright do it, he will do it in sneaky little ways that seem so innocent or "not that bad", until they take away our focus from the Lord.
I always look at sin, no matter how big or little, as roadblocks  that stand in the way from us experiencing the fullness of God. Because they do, they keep us from experiencing the fullness of God.

What are the ants in your life? Sometimes you have to look close to see them.

And once again, I must remind you (whoever you are! Leave a comment! I would love to hear your thoughts!), that God's grace is sufficient. None of us are perfect, and completely without sin. He LOVES YOU! Do not live under condemnation because you have an ant infestation. God wants you to know Him, repent, and ask the Lord to help you eradicate the pests!

You Cannot Just Walk Away

"You can't walk away from your own story" was a line in the movie "Rango" that I have not been able to get out of my head.
I remember when I was still at FIRE, I went through a very hard time. I remember screaming in the car and telling God to "forget it!" because it was all just too hard, and I did not want to follow Him anymore.

No, I did not stop believing in Him, and I did not become unsaved or anything like that. I just did not want to follow His will anymore, because I did not want to feel pain anymore. I did not want to walk through the "fire" anymore.
(By "fire" I mean that refining fire that we all go through as we become closer and closer to the Lord.)

I was seriously angry, and I did make a decision that went against the Lord's will for my life, and it was a very crappy three or four months before I came crawling back LOL

He did not leave me during that time. He still spoke to me, and I still felt His presence. However, the blessing that comes from being in the center of God's will was obviously missing. It was not an easy few months, and could have had some drastic consequences. Thank God I got over my stubborn rebellion and stepped back into the center of His will.

Psalms 139:16 says, "Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."

Eph 2:10, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Both of these verses are Scriptures I hold very close to my heart. In fact, you could say that I cling to them, as I do a few other Scriptures. In fact, Eph 2:10 was the Scripture I used when I spoke at our Baccalaureate service in high school. What an honor that was to share with my fellow students that God has created the perfect plan for them.

And He has. These Scriptures clearly speak of the plan that God has for our lives. Each of us were created for a purpose. To fulfill something great. To touch people's lives in a tangible way. To bring others face to face with the wonder of God. With the greatness of Who He is.

If you read the whole chapter of Psalm 139 you can clearly see that God knows EVERYTHING about you. He knows what you are going to say before you say it, He knows when you get up in the morning, and when you go to sleep. He knows you intimately, because He enjoys you, and wants us to know Him in that way as well.
So, no matter what happens, or how hard life gets. You cannot walk away from your own story. It may not happen the way it was intended, or the way you expected. But only you can tell your story, only you can make the decisions to make your story.

Will it be a story of passion? Or mediocrity? Or destruction?

If you choose to follow God, if you seek His will, I cannot promise you that it will be easy. Most likely there will be some hard times, and hard things to work through. After all, fire burns, and walking through that refining fire will be painful in some ways. However, God will be with you. He will walk with you, support you, encourage you, discipline you, guide you, any thing you need.

He will be, because He is "I AM".

Oh what joy I have found in Jesus! I am never alone no matter how hard it gets.

Making Christ Look Better

Like many of our Christian holidays, there is a little pagan mixed in. At Christmas we have Christmas tree's, and at Easter, we have the Easter bunny. Supposedly early Christians adopted some of the practices of the pagan rituals and celebrations in order to be more attractive to those they were trying to convert.
I did not grow up believing in the Easter bunny, but I did get Easter baskets.
My husband grew up getting a basket  from the Easter bunny, and my daughter will most likely do the same. I personally believe this is harmless, because while this will happen my husband and I plan to emphasize to Emma  the reason we celebrate Easter.
She will always know the importance and significance of this holiday.
With that said, I think it is interesting that Christians have been trying to make Christ look better for so many years.
.
Why do we feel we have to do that?

This happens today as well. We have big programs and plays to attract people to church. We have services where one service is "traditional" with traditional music (hymns, etc), and traditional preaching. The next service is contemporary with special effects, and videos, and skits or plays, etc. When did running a church require a degree in marketing?
Okay, I know it does not require a degree in marketing, but you get my point.

Why is the simple, amazing message of the Cross not good enough?

Why do we feel that Jesus needs improved upon?

I prefer the simplicity of the Message of Jesus Christ. I prefer a worship service that serves as a catalyst into the presence of God, rather than an entertainment show. Whether hymns are being sung, or any of my favorite worship songs, they are simply tools to help me focus and enter in to His presence.
We have made things so complex and difficult as Christians (in general). I am not saying Easter programs, or anything like that are wrong.

Really, I am not.

I just think it is sad that Christians feel as if they/we need to make Christ look better, when usually we just end up making Him look horrible.

When the power of God broke out at the Brownsville church in Pensacola, FL. it was God who brought the people in the doors. Not a program, not a preacher, but the power of God.
His presence.
Any time there has been an outbreak of the presence of God like that people are drawn to Him, not to the program.
I think this is proof enough that God does not need any help looking better.

If You Love the Lord, You'll Repost This (Please read before you choose to repost)

We have all seen them.
You know what I am talking about: Those Facebook posts (or emails, etc) that say if you love Jesus you'll share/like the picture, and they imply that if you do not do what it says then you do not love Him or believe in Him?
I hate those.
I hate those so much.
There are several reasons I hate them. One of those is because I absolutely despise manipulation. I can put up with a lot of things, but being manipulated is the one thing that I have almost no tolerance for. Manipulation is so blatant and purposeful by the person doing it, it drives me nuts.
Another reason is the implication that you have to do something in order to prove you are a Christian. My relationship with the Lord is very personal, and things like that undermine not only your confidence in Him and your relationship, but they undermine His grace as well.
We have a tendency to feels as if we have to prove ourselves, whether to us or to others, or even to God. The easiest way to do this is through works:
Re posting these pictures, or forwarding emails
Volunteering for as much as possible at church.
Praying so much or so long, or reading your Bible so much at a time.
All of these things, with the exception of those re-posting things, in and of themselves are not bad. Our motivation is what I am calling in to question.
I cannot think of a good motivation for re-posting those pictures, they are purely wrong, and I do not know of any good that comes from them.
Being involved in your church is not bad, God calls us to be a part of a community, and He has given us gifts that make us beneficial to that community. However, if you are doing it to "do your Christian duty", or to prove to yourself or others that you are a good Christian, then your motives are completely wrong.
Praying, and reading your Bible are great, but if you are doing it to prove something to yourself or God, then it is just a tedious task that leaves you feeling resentful towards yourself and God.
Doing these things out of the wrong motivation create more and more dissatisfaction with your walk with the Lord, and yourself. They perpetuate a sense of guilt that cannot be assuaged, until you find your identity in Christ.
The trick is being truly honest with yourself. Yes, you say you love children's ministry and that is why you are doing it, but are you doing it because God has called you to do it, or are you doing it because you feel like you have to? It is difficult to be honest with yourself, but maybe a little honesty will help put a stop to the condemnation you feel every time you wish you were not doing it.
Remember, condemnation just makes you feel bad, conviction challenges you to seek the Lord for a change of heart.

Puke, Tears, & Jesus

I woke up this morning to find my husband and daughter on the couch cuddling. This is a bit unusual because they play more than they cuddle. This was also the first sign that something was not normal.
"Is she sick?" I asked him, because this is really the only explanation I could think of. And sure enough, she was sick. So, she cuddled me while daddy got ready for work, and I was able to put her back to bed for a bit.
Fast forward an hour to my drive to a doctor's appointment. She seemed better, so I decided to go ahead and go to the appointment. On the way there she begins crying, and I am trying to soothe her when the smell hit me.
Yep, the smell of vomited milk (FYI, I am eating cottage cheese at the moment and realized that I probably should have waited to write this post...don't think I can finish my cottage cheese now).
So, I get to the doctor's appointment a few seconds later, and begin to try and clean her up. Only it is EVERYWHERE, and she is just crying and crying.
There is no help for it. I take her hoodie off of her and then snuggle her close. For now she is soothed. I run into the office and reschedule my appointment, barely holding back my tears at the sight of my daughter still covered in the puke that just did not want to come off of her.
 I am sure we smelled great.
We get back into the car, and for the 10 minute drive home we are both bawling. I am trying to sing to her ('Tis So Sweet) to soothe her, but my voice keeps cracking, which makes her cry even more.
Because you know, if mommy is crying it must be bad, so she is going to cry too.
We finally got home, bathed, and now my daughter is playing and watching Sesame Street.
What a perfect Monday.
I find it "funny" that I had one of the worst mornings I have ever had, and the song I chose to sing to my sweet, sick baby was the hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus". Even while singing it to her in the car, I was wondering what on earth possessed me to sing that song, other than the fact that I frequently sing it to her when I put her down for the night.
Seriously, this was really crappy morning, and I am singing about trusting in Jesus. It was definitely one of those moments when I think the Holy Spirit was reminding me to just trust in Him, to rest in God. Yes, this morning has been chaotic, yes it has started out with tears and puke, but truly it is so SO sweet to rest in Him. To trust in Him, and His ability to take care of both of us. To give me peace in an unfamiliar situation. To comfort me, and my daughter, and to help her feel better.
Yes, it is so sweet trust in Jesus.
Here are all the words to this hymn, so beautiful:

1. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to take Him at His word;
   Just to rest upon His promise;
   Just to know, Thus saith the Lord.
• Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
  How I've proved Him o'er and o'er,
  Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
    O for grace to trust Him more.
2. O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   Just in simple faith to plunge me,
   'Neath the healing, cleansing flood.
3. Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life, and rest, and joy, and peace.
4. I'm so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/568#ixzz1quCg1YXB