I
think it is sad when I meet people who allude to doing something
religious based, and then quickly say, "oh! I am not religious", like it
is embarrassing to believe in God. So, I am just going to put this out
there. I believe in God, and I believe in the Bible. No, I don't hate
anyone. I have friends whom I love dearly that: drink, have tattoos,
have had abortions, are gay, are legalistic, are agnostic,
are atheists, some smoke marijuana on occasion, I have friends who used
to be strippers, some of them lie on occasion, I have friends who are
health nuts, who are working moms, who are stay at home moms, some of
them home-school, some of them send their kids to public school, some
nursed, some bottle fed, some voted for McCain, others voted for Obama,
some are from the South, some are from other countries, some are Muslim,
some are divorced, some are racist, some are bleeding hearts, some have
criminal pasts, some are liberal, others are conservative...need I go
on? I am not embarrassed to be a Christian, and to believe in a loving
God. I am thankful to Him because He loved me where I was at and I where
I AM at. I never had to get to a certain point of "goodness" in order
for Him to die for me. He did that almost 2000 years before I was born,
all because He wanted to be able to have a relationship with a fallen
sinner like me. Because of His love, I am able to love others who may
not believe the way I do without judgment or expectation.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Treading Water....Barely
We have all been there. We give and we give. We do our best. We try and try to be everything and do everything we need to do to ensure everyone is happy...and we fail.
Repeatedly.
And we are left feeling worthless.
Valueless.
Stripped bare.
At a point so low, we did not know it existed...well, it feels that way anyway. Though I know it could get worse.
But in that moment, that was how I felt.
I was utterly spent.
I think that we often get so busy with "life" that we forget the giver of Life.
Once again, I found myself on my knee's over a pile of clean laundry, crying out to Papa. Begging Him to do something, because I was done.
I had nothing left to give.
Oddly, I have been praying that He would draw me closer. I long to draw ever closer to Him.
I need Him.
Maybe it is not so odd, because this is what it took for me to get off my lazy butt and turn to Him.
Obviously, I needed to be at this point to stop thinking, and start DOING.
When we start doing things in our own strength, we burn out quickly.
We blame others for the things going wrong and begin to ask God to change THEM.
The Marriage page on facebook posted a status the other day that says:
In marriage, it's not your job to fix each other or to change each other; just love each other. Love is what changes us.
I remembered that these past few days. Our first instinct is to say, "God, they are so wrong, please change them."
But, that is wrong. I began to examen how I reacted to things. I began to look at myself, and see where I could become a better person. What God was maybe dealing with ME about.
Too often in marriage we see each other's faults, without examining ourselves. We do this in life more often than not as well.
I digress as this post is about being stripped and humbled. We cannot...I cannot do anything in my own strength. I am a busy stay at home mom, going to graduate school, and trying to run a house efficiently. I love my husband, I want to be a blessing to him.
BUT once again, I am doing these things out of my own strength. Rather than turning to Papa for strength, guidance, and patience in the every day things; I am allowing frustration and anger to take root.
In Him we have joy and peace...
I need Him.
Repeatedly.
And we are left feeling worthless.
Valueless.
Stripped bare.
At a point so low, we did not know it existed...well, it feels that way anyway. Though I know it could get worse.
But in that moment, that was how I felt.
I was utterly spent.
I think that we often get so busy with "life" that we forget the giver of Life.
Once again, I found myself on my knee's over a pile of clean laundry, crying out to Papa. Begging Him to do something, because I was done.
I had nothing left to give.
Oddly, I have been praying that He would draw me closer. I long to draw ever closer to Him.
I need Him.
Maybe it is not so odd, because this is what it took for me to get off my lazy butt and turn to Him.
Obviously, I needed to be at this point to stop thinking, and start DOING.
When we start doing things in our own strength, we burn out quickly.
We blame others for the things going wrong and begin to ask God to change THEM.
The Marriage page on facebook posted a status the other day that says:
In marriage, it's not your job to fix each other or to change each other; just love each other. Love is what changes us.
I remembered that these past few days. Our first instinct is to say, "God, they are so wrong, please change them."
But, that is wrong. I began to examen how I reacted to things. I began to look at myself, and see where I could become a better person. What God was maybe dealing with ME about.
Too often in marriage we see each other's faults, without examining ourselves. We do this in life more often than not as well.
I digress as this post is about being stripped and humbled. We cannot...I cannot do anything in my own strength. I am a busy stay at home mom, going to graduate school, and trying to run a house efficiently. I love my husband, I want to be a blessing to him.
BUT once again, I am doing these things out of my own strength. Rather than turning to Papa for strength, guidance, and patience in the every day things; I am allowing frustration and anger to take root.
In Him we have joy and peace...
I need Him.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Bossy? Or the Beginnings of Good Leadership?
I was in a conversation with my neighbor the other day. She has two great, but very different little girls. One is the typical older child, she listens and obeys. She is girly, and responsible. The younger one is the typical second/younger child. They call her their "wild child". She is a tomboy, she plays hard, and loves hard (for a 7 year old), and she also has a stubborn streak that might stump even the strongest disciplinarian. She has a comeback for everything. They are both "bossy".
When I think of women that I have worked with, not all of them, but the adjectives that stick out the most are:
mean, manipulative, selfish, gossips. Not positive, huh? Sadly, I have found myself repeating this to impressionable young girls, and I am pretty disappointed in myself over that.
This got me to thinking about the labels we often use for girls: Bossy, stuck up, snobby, nagging, stubborn. The list goes on. I am trying to think of some nice labels for girls...Sweet? Eager to please...that's it. I cannot think of another positive way girls are described in general. Wow..so, the world says our daughters are good when they are mild mannered and eager to please. However, it is negative to be assertive and confident? Even in the Bible, the first thing I think of when it comes to women is where Solomon says in Proverbs 27:15 that a nagging wife is like a leaky roof. I don't think of all the stories of women who were mightily used by God.
Don't get me wrong, there are positives and negatives to both sides. As I am raising my daughter, I hope to instill a sense of balance in her. I want her to be assertive. I want her to be confident in what she does. I also want her to be obedient, and compassionate. I want her to love fiercely, to be a champion to the underdog, to see the potential in those around her. I want to help her hone those skills into strong leadership skills.
Our jobs as parents is to train our children to be adults, to be productive members of society.
I pray continually that I will not break my daughter's spirit, and I think that one way those things happen is by trying to tamp down those traits that will be useful later in life.
You have a daughter (or even a son) that tells stories all the time? By all means, teach them that lying is a wrong, but do not stifle their imaginations!
Discipline is vital to training up our children, but in that discipline are we stifling natural talents? I believe there is a way to encourage those things, and train our children how to use those talents in positive ways, without stifling or breaking their spirits.
Meanwhile, I am going to remind you of what a little girl's nanny in "The Help" told her every time her mother or father belittled her and broke her a little more: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important".
It is vital to the well-being of our children (and our marriages) that we uplift and encourage them, even in training and discipline.
When I think of women that I have worked with, not all of them, but the adjectives that stick out the most are:
mean, manipulative, selfish, gossips. Not positive, huh? Sadly, I have found myself repeating this to impressionable young girls, and I am pretty disappointed in myself over that.
This got me to thinking about the labels we often use for girls: Bossy, stuck up, snobby, nagging, stubborn. The list goes on. I am trying to think of some nice labels for girls...Sweet? Eager to please...that's it. I cannot think of another positive way girls are described in general. Wow..so, the world says our daughters are good when they are mild mannered and eager to please. However, it is negative to be assertive and confident? Even in the Bible, the first thing I think of when it comes to women is where Solomon says in Proverbs 27:15 that a nagging wife is like a leaky roof. I don't think of all the stories of women who were mightily used by God.
Don't get me wrong, there are positives and negatives to both sides. As I am raising my daughter, I hope to instill a sense of balance in her. I want her to be assertive. I want her to be confident in what she does. I also want her to be obedient, and compassionate. I want her to love fiercely, to be a champion to the underdog, to see the potential in those around her. I want to help her hone those skills into strong leadership skills.
Our jobs as parents is to train our children to be adults, to be productive members of society.
I pray continually that I will not break my daughter's spirit, and I think that one way those things happen is by trying to tamp down those traits that will be useful later in life.
You have a daughter (or even a son) that tells stories all the time? By all means, teach them that lying is a wrong, but do not stifle their imaginations!
Discipline is vital to training up our children, but in that discipline are we stifling natural talents? I believe there is a way to encourage those things, and train our children how to use those talents in positive ways, without stifling or breaking their spirits.
Meanwhile, I am going to remind you of what a little girl's nanny in "The Help" told her every time her mother or father belittled her and broke her a little more: "You is kind. You is smart. You is important".
It is vital to the well-being of our children (and our marriages) that we uplift and encourage them, even in training and discipline.
Monday, March 25, 2013
No Room for Selfishness in Marriage
This seems to be a re-occurring theme lately. I find myself thinking about it, and in conversation about it. I even saw a post regarding it on Facebook the other day. It all started with a conversation I was having with a friend, and I thought to myself, "Wow, you (my friend) are really selfish". I did not say it, but I definitely thought it. Then I began thinking about myself, and ways in which I display selfishness, and about the damage selfishness can cause. Specifically in a marriage and as parents.
Selfishness...that ugly thing that sneaks up and causes more problems that you thought it would. The Merriam Webster defines it:
act> Selfishness...that ugly thing that sneaks up and causes more problems that you thought it would. The Merriam Webster defines it:
1: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2: arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others selfish
3: being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function <selfish DNA>; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication <selfish genes>
In any problem that comes up in parenthood or marriage, selfishness is most likely the culprit. Selfishness of your spouse, yourself, your child, etc.
I was painting a room the other day and began to think about marriage. See, I am in my graduate program for mental health counseling, but I plan on focusing on marriages and family counseling. I was contemplating the idea of premarital counseling. My husband and I did not attend premarital counseling, not that we had time anyway. However, I acknowledge that I am likely going to be put in a place where I will need to do this type of counseling. My question to myself is, "What is the single most important thing to tell a couple getting ready to be married, or already married but are having problems?"
Here is the thing:
When you become married (or become a parent) there is no room for "I" anymore.
Do NOT misunderstand me. I definitely believe in having "mommy time", and making time for ourselves. I would go insane if my husband did not make sure that I had some "me" time, and I try to encourage him to have time to himself as well.
When you become married you are no longer solely responsible to yourself. Your actions no longer primarily JUST affect you.
You are responsible for and to your spouse.
Every decision you make, right down to choosing (yes, CHOOSING) to be offended by something said or done, effects the well being of your family and relationships.
I rest in knowing that my husband acts with the welfare of myself and our daughter in mind. I know that no matter what happens, I can trust him to act in the best interest of our whole family, not just himself.
Yes. We have selfish moments. We are human.
However, in order to be able to work things out, to keep our relationships strong, we have to be able to put down our pride (die to ourselves), admit our failures and be willing to work through the hurt, and frustrations.
It is okay to be hurt. What is NOT okay is to let that hurt fester, or stand in the way of reconciliation with your spouse.
Choosing NOT do to something for your spouse because you don't get anything out of it is wrong.
Choosing NOT to forgive because you are still hurt is wrong.
Forgiveness, like love, is a CHOICE and NOT a feeling.
I can be hurt, but still choose to forgive. This happened the other day. My husband apologized for something, but I was still fuming about it. I forgave him, but asked him to give me a little space to work through the emotions. I CHOSE to forgive, but I still had to work through the emotions. It is much easier to do so when you know the end result is forgiveness. Fuming and seething about something ends much quicker, and does not fester in your mind and heart.
I am not perfect, nor is my family. We are naturally selfish, and it happens on a normal basis. Even if it takes a few hours, I still have to choose to forgive. Choose to love. Because that is VITAL to keeping my marriage strong.
Our ultimate example, is of course, Jesus Christ. He was spit on, beaten, bruised. His closest friends rejected Him in His darkest hour. In the Garden of Gethsemane He prayed : “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Luke 22:39-46)
He CHOSE to continue on this path, KNOWING what would happen, because He LOVES us.
Ephesians 5 speaks of this:
Ephesians 5
New International Version (NIV)
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I think this is self-explanatory in light of this post.
When you CHOOSE to LOVE and FORGIVE, you choose LIFE for your marriage.
Husbands and wives, love each other...love in the "agape" sense of the word. Love selflessly. CHOOSE to love.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Running to Papa
Oh how glad I am to have January and February behind us!
I know, I know! It's the middle of March, but it has taken me this long to recover, and reflect.
Recover? From What? Oh, well probably THE single most HUMBLING season of my life. That is what being a parent does:
It humbles us.
January and February were some of the hardest months I have had in awhile. They were full of sickness, I swear Emma had a new something or other every week. We also decided to poke a hole in her pacifier to wean her off it. So those two months were marked by very little sleep.
I learned something new about myself, or maybe I re-learned it. I am a terrible person with little sleep. I have very little patience, and very little gets done. Anyone with a toddler knows that patience is key to a happy home.
OH! Emma also decided to start throwing tantrums every time I told her "no", took something away from her, or made her leave a place she was having fun.
I thought we had taken care of this problem months ago...I was wrong.
Okay, Okay! I know, she will continuously test boundaries and rules, that is the nature of a child. I'd say it is the nature of all humans.
Anyway, the worst of me came out those two months. Things I never knew could exist in my brain and life came to the surface in terrifying ways. Well, terrifying to me anyway, any parent I am sure can relate.
Many days I wanted to scream and lock Emma in her room ( I didn't). Many of those I wanted to drink my frustration away ( again, I did not). Many of those days I felt I was barely treading water. . My patience wore thin, and I didn't know what to do with myself.
Why am I sharing this? Because everyone, every parent goes through these times. What did I learn? That in those times I must run to Papa. In those moments, those very difficult and hard times, I saw beauty emerge in a way it never would have without coming to a very low point in my life.
In those moments of frustration and anger, I learned to rely on Papa. I learned to go to Him. I learned how to practically teach my daughter to do the same.
Every time my frustration grew, every time my anger rose to the surface, I picked up Emma, placed her on my lap, and we ran to Papa. Any time her frustration at not being understood, or not being able to do the things she wanted to, we ran to Papa.
Emma needs to see that I am not perfect, that I need God. She needs to see me go to Him when I am in need, because that is where she will learn to go to Him herself.
Don't misunderstand, that is not the only time we run to Papa. I thank Him, in front of her, every day for His mercy, grace, the blessings He has given us. We pray together every day.
I go to Him in the happy, easy times too.
For now, this season is over. Emma is my happy, sweet, obedient little girl again. I am under no illusion that this is the end of it. She is full of curiosity, and is exploring her world. She will again test boundaries, and try to get her own way. I will not say I am ready, but knowing it is going to happen is half the battle, yes?
However, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what happens I can run to Papa.
And I can teach my daughter to do the same.
I know, I know! It's the middle of March, but it has taken me this long to recover, and reflect.
Recover? From What? Oh, well probably THE single most HUMBLING season of my life. That is what being a parent does:
It humbles us.
January and February were some of the hardest months I have had in awhile. They were full of sickness, I swear Emma had a new something or other every week. We also decided to poke a hole in her pacifier to wean her off it. So those two months were marked by very little sleep.
I learned something new about myself, or maybe I re-learned it. I am a terrible person with little sleep. I have very little patience, and very little gets done. Anyone with a toddler knows that patience is key to a happy home.
OH! Emma also decided to start throwing tantrums every time I told her "no", took something away from her, or made her leave a place she was having fun.
I thought we had taken care of this problem months ago...I was wrong.
Okay, Okay! I know, she will continuously test boundaries and rules, that is the nature of a child. I'd say it is the nature of all humans.
Anyway, the worst of me came out those two months. Things I never knew could exist in my brain and life came to the surface in terrifying ways. Well, terrifying to me anyway, any parent I am sure can relate.
Many days I wanted to scream and lock Emma in her room ( I didn't). Many of those I wanted to drink my frustration away ( again, I did not). Many of those days I felt I was barely treading water. . My patience wore thin, and I didn't know what to do with myself.
Why am I sharing this? Because everyone, every parent goes through these times. What did I learn? That in those times I must run to Papa. In those moments, those very difficult and hard times, I saw beauty emerge in a way it never would have without coming to a very low point in my life.
In those moments of frustration and anger, I learned to rely on Papa. I learned to go to Him. I learned how to practically teach my daughter to do the same.
Every time my frustration grew, every time my anger rose to the surface, I picked up Emma, placed her on my lap, and we ran to Papa. Any time her frustration at not being understood, or not being able to do the things she wanted to, we ran to Papa.
Emma needs to see that I am not perfect, that I need God. She needs to see me go to Him when I am in need, because that is where she will learn to go to Him herself.
Don't misunderstand, that is not the only time we run to Papa. I thank Him, in front of her, every day for His mercy, grace, the blessings He has given us. We pray together every day.
I go to Him in the happy, easy times too.
For now, this season is over. Emma is my happy, sweet, obedient little girl again. I am under no illusion that this is the end of it. She is full of curiosity, and is exploring her world. She will again test boundaries, and try to get her own way. I will not say I am ready, but knowing it is going to happen is half the battle, yes?
However, I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what happens I can run to Papa.
And I can teach my daughter to do the same.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
I Call it, "Girl Porn"
I LOVE to read. You can ask my parents. I love to read so much that I was grounded from books. Not television or the phone.
Books.
In fact, I would rather read a book than watch television.
In class I used to put a book on top of my textbook while the teacher was lecturing and read it, but it looked like I was following along in the book.
Most of the time (though I am MUCH better about it now), I get so into books that I literally hear nothing going on around me. Obviously, I had to untrain myself to block out the noise around me when I had a kid, but that is easier said than done.
Much to my delight, my husband bought me a Kindle a few years ago. Did you know there are a TON of free books on Amazon.com and other sites for Kindle users?
JACKPOT!
I could easily go through about a hundred books a month. In fact, this last week alone I have read about 2 books or so a day.
They are my junk food, my television, and I would even go so far as to call it my vice.
The books I read are purely entertainment, and have no value.
Really.
I call them popcorn books: they are yummy, but they have no real substance or nutritional value.
When I first got my Kindle, coming across erotica was not very common. Usually, I could download all the free books I wanted without too much concern for what kind of content was inside them.
Typically, I could tell by the cover of the book I was downloading if it was questionable anyway.
Yes! I DO judge a book by its cover!
Well...I did.
Until recently.
The book that changed it all is that 50 Shades of Grey book. I have not read it, nor do I want to. I despise that kind of book just as much as I despise porn. It is degrading and disgusting, not to mention incredibly damaging.
Ever since this book came out, it seems that graphic sex scenes have become not only accepted, but the norm in books. Generally, I can tell within the first few pages of the book if it is going to have these scenes, and I can delete it. However, sometimes it takes me by surprise. The cover no longer implies that there are graphic sex scenes, and neither does a majority of the descriptions. I have even come across YA books that have inappropriate scenes in them.
I think books need to have a rating system.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will read every book Emma wants to read before she is allowed to read it. Okay, maybe resigned is the wrong word, because I would probably do it anyway. My husband said to me, "At least you read fast, so she won't have to wait too long to read them!"
So, this girl porn. That's what I call these books. They suck you in before you know it. To be honest, I know this from experience, and I believe that they are just as damaging as visual porn.
Sex is a beautiful gift God has created for the purpose of married couples. Not only is it a gift, it acts as a way of strengthening the bond between a man and wife. Porn, girl porn or otherwise, brings other "people" or things into that intimate relationship whether you realize it or not. Sex should be between a man, a woman, and God. Nothing and no one should ever be included in that experience.
These books have a way of getting into our minds, and giving expectations of the way life "should" be. The way sex "should" be. Just like romance books give us unrealistic expectations of what a man should be (again, whether we realize it or not, this happens!). Books are fiction. They create ideals and fantasy worlds, and in no way reflect the real world.
In this world where porn in any form is becoming more and more accepted, we need to become more and more protective of our marriages. We need to guard each other, and our hearts against satan's attack on marriage.
This mindset that if this marriage doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce and try again has pervaded our lives through the media and books. The thought that it is okay to just look (or read) and even fantasize, as long as I am not really doing it has got to stop.
Matthew 5:28 says that lusting after someone in your heart is the same thing as committing the act.
Reading girl porn, I believe, is no different than committing adultery. It engages your mind and your body the same way visual porn does for men.
Books.
In fact, I would rather read a book than watch television.
In class I used to put a book on top of my textbook while the teacher was lecturing and read it, but it looked like I was following along in the book.
Most of the time (though I am MUCH better about it now), I get so into books that I literally hear nothing going on around me. Obviously, I had to untrain myself to block out the noise around me when I had a kid, but that is easier said than done.
Much to my delight, my husband bought me a Kindle a few years ago. Did you know there are a TON of free books on Amazon.com and other sites for Kindle users?
JACKPOT!
I could easily go through about a hundred books a month. In fact, this last week alone I have read about 2 books or so a day.
They are my junk food, my television, and I would even go so far as to call it my vice.
The books I read are purely entertainment, and have no value.
Really.
I call them popcorn books: they are yummy, but they have no real substance or nutritional value.
When I first got my Kindle, coming across erotica was not very common. Usually, I could download all the free books I wanted without too much concern for what kind of content was inside them.
Typically, I could tell by the cover of the book I was downloading if it was questionable anyway.
Yes! I DO judge a book by its cover!
Well...I did.
Until recently.
The book that changed it all is that 50 Shades of Grey book. I have not read it, nor do I want to. I despise that kind of book just as much as I despise porn. It is degrading and disgusting, not to mention incredibly damaging.
Ever since this book came out, it seems that graphic sex scenes have become not only accepted, but the norm in books. Generally, I can tell within the first few pages of the book if it is going to have these scenes, and I can delete it. However, sometimes it takes me by surprise. The cover no longer implies that there are graphic sex scenes, and neither does a majority of the descriptions. I have even come across YA books that have inappropriate scenes in them.
I think books need to have a rating system.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will read every book Emma wants to read before she is allowed to read it. Okay, maybe resigned is the wrong word, because I would probably do it anyway. My husband said to me, "At least you read fast, so she won't have to wait too long to read them!"
So, this girl porn. That's what I call these books. They suck you in before you know it. To be honest, I know this from experience, and I believe that they are just as damaging as visual porn.
Sex is a beautiful gift God has created for the purpose of married couples. Not only is it a gift, it acts as a way of strengthening the bond between a man and wife. Porn, girl porn or otherwise, brings other "people" or things into that intimate relationship whether you realize it or not. Sex should be between a man, a woman, and God. Nothing and no one should ever be included in that experience.
These books have a way of getting into our minds, and giving expectations of the way life "should" be. The way sex "should" be. Just like romance books give us unrealistic expectations of what a man should be (again, whether we realize it or not, this happens!). Books are fiction. They create ideals and fantasy worlds, and in no way reflect the real world.
In this world where porn in any form is becoming more and more accepted, we need to become more and more protective of our marriages. We need to guard each other, and our hearts against satan's attack on marriage.
This mindset that if this marriage doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce and try again has pervaded our lives through the media and books. The thought that it is okay to just look (or read) and even fantasize, as long as I am not really doing it has got to stop.
Matthew 5:28 says that lusting after someone in your heart is the same thing as committing the act.
Reading girl porn, I believe, is no different than committing adultery. It engages your mind and your body the same way visual porn does for men.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
The Road to Worry
Lately anxiety has stalked me and has threatened to overwhelm my sense of peace about life and that God is in control.
I honestly feel on the verge of panic attacks at least once a day.
It all started during a basketball game during Jimmy V week. The announcer, I think, said something like 1 out of 2 people get Cancer.
WHAT A STATISTIC!
SCARY!
Then my thoughts travel down that dark scary path:
What if Jake or I die of cancer? Or Both? Emma may not have both her parents growing up!
What if SHE gets cancer and I lose my baby girl?
My heart begins to race.
My lungs get tight, and I start to have a little trouble breathing.
I start to tremble.
To be honest, I try not to let myself go down this road, because it quickly leads to fear and anxiety.
Worry.
And ultimately not trusting in God.
When we love we become vulnerable, because those we love will get hurt. Emma will have hurtful experiences in school. She may be bullied. Someone will say something mean.
Hurt is inevitable in life.
Bad things happen, they do.
How we handle the bad things is what makes the difference. When I begin walking down that scary road, God gently reminds me of my most favorite phrase in the Bible: I AM.
He is. He is in control. Few things are in my control, one of those being my reaction to my fears and worries.
I stop myself. Take a deep breath, and turn to God.
He is my Rock, He is my salvation. He is my deliverer, my comforter...I could go on.
BUT
He is not just that for ME.
He is Emma's Rock, Emma's comforter, and Emma's ...
He is Jake's ...
He loves us, He wants the best for us. The level of love I feel for my husband and daughter, and the rest of the people I love so much is just a small fraction of the amount of love that He has for us.
So, as you begin to walk down that road, and let worry overtake you. Remember that He is "I AM", everything you need.
Remember Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus exhorts us not to worry, because He is in control, and He will take care of us. It may not look like we think it should or want it to.
But He will.
I honestly feel on the verge of panic attacks at least once a day.
It all started during a basketball game during Jimmy V week. The announcer, I think, said something like 1 out of 2 people get Cancer.
WHAT A STATISTIC!
SCARY!
Then my thoughts travel down that dark scary path:
What if Jake or I die of cancer? Or Both? Emma may not have both her parents growing up!
What if SHE gets cancer and I lose my baby girl?
My heart begins to race.
My lungs get tight, and I start to have a little trouble breathing.
I start to tremble.
To be honest, I try not to let myself go down this road, because it quickly leads to fear and anxiety.
Worry.
And ultimately not trusting in God.
When we love we become vulnerable, because those we love will get hurt. Emma will have hurtful experiences in school. She may be bullied. Someone will say something mean.
Hurt is inevitable in life.
Bad things happen, they do.
How we handle the bad things is what makes the difference. When I begin walking down that scary road, God gently reminds me of my most favorite phrase in the Bible: I AM.
He is. He is in control. Few things are in my control, one of those being my reaction to my fears and worries.
I stop myself. Take a deep breath, and turn to God.
He is my Rock, He is my salvation. He is my deliverer, my comforter...I could go on.
BUT
He is not just that for ME.
He is Emma's Rock, Emma's comforter, and Emma's ...
He is Jake's ...
He loves us, He wants the best for us. The level of love I feel for my husband and daughter, and the rest of the people I love so much is just a small fraction of the amount of love that He has for us.
So, as you begin to walk down that road, and let worry overtake you. Remember that He is "I AM", everything you need.
Remember Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus exhorts us not to worry, because He is in control, and He will take care of us. It may not look like we think it should or want it to.
But He will.
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