My last post, as well as recent events have gotten me thinking about my personal ministry as a wife and mom.
Huh? I know, right? Mom? Wife? Those are identities, roles we play...not ministries.
I did not always look at being a wife and mom as a ministry. They were roles I played that became, at times, incredibly tedious. There are days, like today for instance, that I forget that I am not playing a role, but ministering to my husband and daughter. Those are the moments I must stop myself, regroup, and move on. I have had to do that a couple times with Emma this morning.
The problem with playing a role is that it become boring. We become dissatisfied with the roles we are playing, and we start getting fidgety, and short tempered. The role starts to wear on you, and exhaust you. The things you do for your loved one's become chores, and you begin to resent having to do them to keep everyone happy.
It is exhausting and unfulfilling. In fact, just thinking about it makes me exhausted! Our motives begin to change. We do things like clean the house out of duty, rather than love. It gets overwhelming, and we (or at least) get lazy.
I think this is true for men as well. This is not just a "woman" issue, but a heart and people issue. I think that this is a major problem in marriages, and can create huge rifts that eventually lead to divorce.
When I step back from the situation and remember that this is a ministry, rather than a role, this changes my mindset a lot. Now, do not get me wrong, ministry can often turn into a role we play, and can become tedious as well. This is where heart comes in.
I am constantly asking the Lord to transform my heart. In fact, a verse that I frequently pray is: Ezekial 36:26:
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
This is the NLT, and I used it because I like the wording, "...stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."
All of the other versions talk about a heart of stone, and giving a heart of flesh.
My heart often becomes stony. The resentment that builds up when I play a role, rather than minister out of love to my family. It becomes stony when I see the horrors of the world, or deal with people who drive me nuts for one reason or another.
My heart has a propensity towards being stony. I easily become cynical and resentful, and frustrated with the things going on around me and in the world. So, this is a constant prayer that I pray: That God will give me a new heart and a new spirit full of love and compassion. That He will take away my stony, hard heart and give me a new heart that is vulnerable and responsive to Him.
So, my personal ministry as a wife and mother come out of, first and foremost God in me. My desire is to please Him, and out of that comes an incredible love for my husband and daughter. Second, because of that love I desire what is best for them. This means that I keep my house clean, I cook my husband dinner so that he can eat when he gets home. This also extends to more intimate things like sex. I obviously will not go into details, but ensuring that your husband is not in any kind of want is also a part of ministering to him.
For my daughter, this entails listening to her when she is "talking", giving her my undivided attention, even if it just for a few moments, when she is trying to get my attention while I am trying to cook/do homework, etc. This includes taking care of her needs like changing her diaper, feeding her, and bathing her. This also includes setting boundaries and disciplining her when needed.
Ministry to your loved one's means stepping outside of your selfish desires and serving them with an attitude of love. Martha did this, but she sometimes switched into the "role" of serving and became resentful at times. I believe however, that most of the time she did it out of love, she truly loved to make people comfortable and serve them in this way.
Huh? I know, right? Mom? Wife? Those are identities, roles we play...not ministries.
I did not always look at being a wife and mom as a ministry. They were roles I played that became, at times, incredibly tedious. There are days, like today for instance, that I forget that I am not playing a role, but ministering to my husband and daughter. Those are the moments I must stop myself, regroup, and move on. I have had to do that a couple times with Emma this morning.
The problem with playing a role is that it become boring. We become dissatisfied with the roles we are playing, and we start getting fidgety, and short tempered. The role starts to wear on you, and exhaust you. The things you do for your loved one's become chores, and you begin to resent having to do them to keep everyone happy.
It is exhausting and unfulfilling. In fact, just thinking about it makes me exhausted! Our motives begin to change. We do things like clean the house out of duty, rather than love. It gets overwhelming, and we (or at least) get lazy.
I think this is true for men as well. This is not just a "woman" issue, but a heart and people issue. I think that this is a major problem in marriages, and can create huge rifts that eventually lead to divorce.
When I step back from the situation and remember that this is a ministry, rather than a role, this changes my mindset a lot. Now, do not get me wrong, ministry can often turn into a role we play, and can become tedious as well. This is where heart comes in.
I am constantly asking the Lord to transform my heart. In fact, a verse that I frequently pray is: Ezekial 36:26:
And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
This is the NLT, and I used it because I like the wording, "...stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."
All of the other versions talk about a heart of stone, and giving a heart of flesh.
My heart often becomes stony. The resentment that builds up when I play a role, rather than minister out of love to my family. It becomes stony when I see the horrors of the world, or deal with people who drive me nuts for one reason or another.
My heart has a propensity towards being stony. I easily become cynical and resentful, and frustrated with the things going on around me and in the world. So, this is a constant prayer that I pray: That God will give me a new heart and a new spirit full of love and compassion. That He will take away my stony, hard heart and give me a new heart that is vulnerable and responsive to Him.
So, my personal ministry as a wife and mother come out of, first and foremost God in me. My desire is to please Him, and out of that comes an incredible love for my husband and daughter. Second, because of that love I desire what is best for them. This means that I keep my house clean, I cook my husband dinner so that he can eat when he gets home. This also extends to more intimate things like sex. I obviously will not go into details, but ensuring that your husband is not in any kind of want is also a part of ministering to him.
For my daughter, this entails listening to her when she is "talking", giving her my undivided attention, even if it just for a few moments, when she is trying to get my attention while I am trying to cook/do homework, etc. This includes taking care of her needs like changing her diaper, feeding her, and bathing her. This also includes setting boundaries and disciplining her when needed.
Ministry to your loved one's means stepping outside of your selfish desires and serving them with an attitude of love. Martha did this, but she sometimes switched into the "role" of serving and became resentful at times. I believe however, that most of the time she did it out of love, she truly loved to make people comfortable and serve them in this way.
